Tuesday, 1 June 2010

Sympathomedullary pathway... FU

Revision is not the most fun of past times, neither is rain, nor arguments, nor odd agonising stomach and hip pains, all of which I have had today.

y'know what i hate? words. there are some words which just hearing them uttered can make me feel sick, or make me angry. i can be perfectly fine and read something, then feel like shit.

but they can also be so amazing. it's odd how replacing words in a video with a silly word can be so hilarious, and make me laugh more than i have in months. and also, how someone can say something to you that just makes you feel so happy, something which is just the thing you want to hear. when that happens, it makes you realise that there IS some good in life. even if you don't think what they're saying is necessarily all that sincere, it's just nice to know people care about you enough to say it, y'know? that's happened to me a couple of times recently, where i've just felt a big surge of love for someone who's said something really nice to me. i just really need that at the moment, and i love to bits anyone who makes the effort to cheer me up.

but yeah.. i'mma sandwich that nice little sentiment with something else bad, i'm afraid. i want to move out. or he can move out, either way is good for me. i hate him, i really really do. i was revising earlier, and now i can't because he was a total bastard to me and i just lost it, my mind's not right now. at the moment, men just really seem to not be doing well in my life.. stepdad's a twat, dad is losing his mind (what little there was of it), and relationship wise? lol, don't even go there. i think i've been broken, i can't bring myself to look at anyone new the same way any more. just got to wait around for a while i guess before someone treats me right again. but how much longer?

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