Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Sociability is hard enough for me, take me away from this big, bad world and agree to marry me.

It's funny how opinions change. you can think the world of somebody, and then suddenly hate their very guts. or the total opposite, you can be caught unawares, moving from indifference to infatuation in a matter of minutes.

It's funny how this is a place that I should feel I can say what I want, my own little place to be me. but I can't. i'm pretty damn sure that a fair few people occasionally tune into my crazed scribblings that I just couldn't expose my heart and soul to. there are some things I keep inside that not even all my close friends know, and oh how I hate that. I'm such an open person, i like to tell people everything I'm feeling, everything i'm thinking. yeah, that makes me sound a bit stupid sometimes, when i vocalise weird little thoughts that most people just wave off and discard as ridiculous. i RELISH ridiculous. i think that's why we get on so well.

It's funny how you can be so stupid. let's leave that point hanging, i feel elaboration would be unfair.

It's funny how I'm going to pieces but i'm also fine. my mind has these constant conflicts which buzz and trip over each other and fill up my thinking space. i'll be in a lesson and suddenly realise that i haven't been listening for the last fifteen minutes and would be struck clueless if called upon for an answer. yet, I have days where I feel on top of the world. bi-polar much?

It's funny how I can cry, screw that, WEEP over a book, but still feel happy. I can cry over someone else's miscarriage, someone else's death, and it doesn't matter, they're not real. it's silly that I cry in the first place really, but I love to get involved in these strange worlds, totally and utterly. It's just lovely to be able to cry, but not think about myself. it feels liberating. I spend so much time obsessing on what could be, what could have been, what never was. it's stupid, I know it is, but I cant help it.

How funny life is. hahahaha.

~ "good joke.
everybody laugh.
snare drum.
curtain." ~

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