Oh when you look at me like that my darling, what did you expect? I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck... Or I did last time I checked ~
I continue to be a failure of a human being. Failed psychology experiment, failed relationship, failed happiness.
Sigh.
Well. I'm not too unhappy. Just feeling like I've let a lot of people down, and I've tried so hard recently, or so I thought. Maybe I'm just not cut for sociability. I'm sorry. I really am.
~ I crumble completely when you cry.
Thursday 26 November 2009
Wednesday 18 November 2009
Today is gonna be a bit of a ramble, folks… Enjoy!
So, I was watching a documentary today with my mum, called ‘How long is a piece of string?’ This guy, Alan someone, wanted to know how long his silly piece of string was, and he went to all these mathematicians and physicists, who spewed a load of spiel about atoms and infinity, and ultimately, did not answer his question. (This is going somewhere, promise.)
Basically, I started to feel really uncomfortable when confronted with the principles of ‘infinity’ and such. I don’t like knowing something can go on forever, why does it matter to me? I’m just a little finite being, and frankly, I don’t care about things that are too tiny or massive for me to see. I felt the same way a few weeks ago, watching a documentary on black holes, which is the opposite end of the scale. A piece of string, stars, a cat (I’ll get onto that in a bit), these are just words we create to name things. Nothing really matters apart from the tangible things around me.
Maybe I’m broken? Humans are meant to have this unquenchable thirst for knowledge, which is why we have mathematicians and physicists and other poncy gits (okay, I know they aren’t all poncy gits, but I’m just drawing on BBC documentaries here) to find out ‘the secrets of the universe’. Thing is, I don’t have that need to know everything. It actually scares me; once I start to think about things that are beyond anything I can perceive, I literally panic. I get this anxious feeling that spreads through me and tightens up my stomach muscles, like I’m getting ready to attack a predator. Weird, no?
There was this theory on that string program today: Schrodinger’s cat. A photon may or may not hit a receiver. If it does hit it, a drop of poison will be added to the cat’s milk, and the cat will die. If it doesn’t, nothing will happen and the cat will live. However, photons are not fixed, and are in multiple places at the same time. Consequently, the poison will both be added to the milk, and not be added to the milk, as the photon is recorded on the receiver and also elsewhere and not recorded, which means the cat is both alive and dead. One word for you there: ARGGHHHH!
Stupid bloody paradoxes, they continue to perplex me. If a tree falls in the woods with no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound? Well, it creates vibrations in the air, which a human would perceive as a sound, but if there’s no one there to hear it, is it still a sound? I say yes, as it’s still effectively the same phenomenon. My mother says no, as a sound is merely a perception of some measly vibrations in the ear. Please excuse me while I shoot myself.
See, I don’t really care about this philosophical bullshit, but once I start thinking about it, I get so sucked in and so anxious that, if I thought about it enough, I think I may go crazy and kill myself. So now you know slightly more about what goes on in my head. Maybe I think like a totally normal person, maybe I’m a tad psychotic. But who knows. :]
Kat. <3
So, I was watching a documentary today with my mum, called ‘How long is a piece of string?’ This guy, Alan someone, wanted to know how long his silly piece of string was, and he went to all these mathematicians and physicists, who spewed a load of spiel about atoms and infinity, and ultimately, did not answer his question. (This is going somewhere, promise.)
Basically, I started to feel really uncomfortable when confronted with the principles of ‘infinity’ and such. I don’t like knowing something can go on forever, why does it matter to me? I’m just a little finite being, and frankly, I don’t care about things that are too tiny or massive for me to see. I felt the same way a few weeks ago, watching a documentary on black holes, which is the opposite end of the scale. A piece of string, stars, a cat (I’ll get onto that in a bit), these are just words we create to name things. Nothing really matters apart from the tangible things around me.
Maybe I’m broken? Humans are meant to have this unquenchable thirst for knowledge, which is why we have mathematicians and physicists and other poncy gits (okay, I know they aren’t all poncy gits, but I’m just drawing on BBC documentaries here) to find out ‘the secrets of the universe’. Thing is, I don’t have that need to know everything. It actually scares me; once I start to think about things that are beyond anything I can perceive, I literally panic. I get this anxious feeling that spreads through me and tightens up my stomach muscles, like I’m getting ready to attack a predator. Weird, no?
There was this theory on that string program today: Schrodinger’s cat. A photon may or may not hit a receiver. If it does hit it, a drop of poison will be added to the cat’s milk, and the cat will die. If it doesn’t, nothing will happen and the cat will live. However, photons are not fixed, and are in multiple places at the same time. Consequently, the poison will both be added to the milk, and not be added to the milk, as the photon is recorded on the receiver and also elsewhere and not recorded, which means the cat is both alive and dead. One word for you there: ARGGHHHH!
Stupid bloody paradoxes, they continue to perplex me. If a tree falls in the woods with no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound? Well, it creates vibrations in the air, which a human would perceive as a sound, but if there’s no one there to hear it, is it still a sound? I say yes, as it’s still effectively the same phenomenon. My mother says no, as a sound is merely a perception of some measly vibrations in the ear. Please excuse me while I shoot myself.
See, I don’t really care about this philosophical bullshit, but once I start thinking about it, I get so sucked in and so anxious that, if I thought about it enough, I think I may go crazy and kill myself. So now you know slightly more about what goes on in my head. Maybe I think like a totally normal person, maybe I’m a tad psychotic. But who knows. :]
Kat. <3
Thursday 29 October 2009
The novelty still hasn't worn off!
Eee second post! Decided that the font on the last one was annoyingly small, so it's a bit larger this time. Kinder to your eyes :)
So.. I thought I would dive in and discuss some issues that I have been thinking about these past couple of days. Firstly, my new colour obsessions. Recently, I've found myself really drawn to purple and electric blue. It's SO odd.. I used to actually say I didn't like purple. And blue? Well, never appealed much either. However, I have now decided I love them both dearly. Right now, my nails are electric blue, and I bought a jumper the same shade today. I also bought a purple corset and top, all for under £20! Good old exploitative Primark. So yes, if you want to please me, you know the colours to somehow use.. Oh oh, this thing has HTML! I can show you..
Special.
Well, now you probably know that I like to talk about really stupid uninteresting stuff. Yaaaay. It's Halloween the day after tomorrow, that gives me one day to get my damn costume together. So far, it consists of: a purple corset, a frilly black skirt, cat ears, suspenders and stockings. What am I going as, I hear you ask. Well, I cannot answer that, because I don't know, but by the looks of it, it's going to be a slut. My mother suggested I go as a prostitute. Thanks, Mum.
Well, I can think of nothing else particularly interesting that I desperately wish to share with you, so I think I'll leave it there for today.
Peace and luff. <3
So.. I thought I would dive in and discuss some issues that I have been thinking about these past couple of days. Firstly, my new colour obsessions. Recently, I've found myself really drawn to purple and electric blue. It's SO odd.. I used to actually say I didn't like purple. And blue? Well, never appealed much either. However, I have now decided I love them both dearly. Right now, my nails are electric blue, and I bought a jumper the same shade today. I also bought a purple corset and top, all for under £20! Good old exploitative Primark. So yes, if you want to please me, you know the colours to somehow use.. Oh oh, this thing has HTML! I can show you..
I LUFF PURPLE
I LUFF BLUE
Special.
Well, now you probably know that I like to talk about really stupid uninteresting stuff. Yaaaay. It's Halloween the day after tomorrow, that gives me one day to get my damn costume together. So far, it consists of: a purple corset, a frilly black skirt, cat ears, suspenders and stockings. What am I going as, I hear you ask. Well, I cannot answer that, because I don't know, but by the looks of it, it's going to be a slut. My mother suggested I go as a prostitute. Thanks, Mum.
Well, I can think of nothing else particularly interesting that I desperately wish to share with you, so I think I'll leave it there for today.
Peace and luff. <3
Wednesday 28 October 2009
OH EM GEE WALL VIRGINITY :3
Well, howdy y'all!
I've been meaning to make a blog for quite a while now, and have finally got round to it. I know what you're thinking, at last the public can see into Kat's head, what a marvellous day this is for all!
Chyeah right.
I dun care if you wanna read it, I'm gonna post it anyways. See, I have these weird thought chains all the time, and ALWAYS think, ooh I wish I could write this somewhere where people could see it, I kinda like that notion. Alors, voila! My blog. My wonderful brand spanking new spiffeh shineh blog. I luff blog. :)
So here I shall end this fabulous first entry, to the future and many more blog entries to come!
Peace and luff,
Kat. <3
I've been meaning to make a blog for quite a while now, and have finally got round to it. I know what you're thinking, at last the public can see into Kat's head, what a marvellous day this is for all!
Chyeah right.
I dun care if you wanna read it, I'm gonna post it anyways. See, I have these weird thought chains all the time, and ALWAYS think, ooh I wish I could write this somewhere where people could see it, I kinda like that notion. Alors, voila! My blog. My wonderful brand spanking new spiffeh shineh blog. I luff blog. :)
So here I shall end this fabulous first entry, to the future and many more blog entries to come!
Peace and luff,
Kat. <3
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