Who are we, where are we, when are we, why are we?

I've been thinking about myself. not in a, what i want and stuff way like usual. not in the selfish way. well.. okay i guess you can say that thinking about yourself is always selfish, but you get what i mean. i think. tbh i'm not even sure what i mean by this, so good luck comprehending!

so. my name is katherine rebecca beatty. name chosen by my father, i believe, rebecca my middle name as it is the name of two of my mother's best friends. surname of irish origin, from my father's side. most of my friends call me kat, and have done since year 6, when my teacher Miss Brook started calling me it out of the blue and it caught on.

when someone asks me my name, if not rushed, i answer kat. that's what everyone calls me. but, i've found, if i'm nervous or pushed to answer quickly, i answer katherine. hence why everyone at work called me katherine for the first few months. it's odd.. who am I? really? do i still want to be katherine, that little girl who was podgy and shy? I guess yeah, I do. it was so much simpler. i was top student in my class, had a ton of friends, no dirty secrets to keep, no terrible habits.

i want to be katherine again.